Nine Days
June 11…means that the wedding is in nine days! I think we are just about ready for it… Here is hoping everything turns out nicely!
I am officially off from school, and I kind of hate it. Though subbing is not an easy or all that fun job, it’s something to do for eight hours out of the day. I was home all day yesterday and the same will be true for today. I’m already losing my mind.
I think I want to get back into cosplay. I moved my website yesterday and it sparked something.
Soon to be Married!
The wedding is only twenty days away!!!!
-We have been getting replies in the mail for the reception.
-I had my final dress fitting.
-Jessica and I went out to get jewelry.
-We got glasses that say “Glenn and Heather…Our Triumphant Day…June 20th, 2009.” (He has a triumph motorcycle, which is part of our ‘theme’)
-I designed the cake and emailed it; it is totally do-able.
-We FINALLY picked out a song to dance to. It was difficult because he likes a lot of older music and I like a lot of everything, but our tastes are still really different. We both like Aerosmith though, so we picked “I don’t Wanna Miss a Thing”
-The rings came, but there was a problem with Glenn’s. They broke it when they went to size it and they tried to repair it, but it came out crooked. We mailed it back to them and they are getting a new one out to us.
-I am almost done my veil.
-We booked a bed and breakfast for the day after the wedding 
I am getting so excited! Everything seems to be coming together for this…even the money (which I didn’t think we would have) I can’t wait to be Mrs. Reeher!
The end of my love affair with the rich and spoiled.
When I first started babysitting in college I thought it was the life I’d missed out on. I went to these enormous houses, that dozens of family’s could have inhabited simultaneously, to find a family of four instead. The kids had endless amounts of video games, toys, dolls, everything. They had bedrooms, playrooms, pools, pool tables, giant TVs, on and on and on. I thought it was the life, and I participated in it for $10/hour at a time. I thought that someday, that would be what I would have or want to have.
As I have aged (which makes me sound older than I am, at the ripe age of 23) I have realized many, many important things.
Lesson 1: Live within your means and be happy where you are. Living above your means or always striving to have more will make you miserable.
The last family that I babysat during the day taught me that you shouldn’t try to live a life that isn’t your own. If you aren’t rich, don’t pretend to be. The dad had two jobs, the mom complained about working her minor four days a week, and then turned around and shopped all the super sales at designer children’s clothing stores to put on airs. Glenn and I have two jobs each right now, but it is by choice so that we have extra to fix up the house and pay for the wedding. We could just as easily drop our second jobs and get along just fine; as opposed to this family that would have lost their over-priced house if either of the quit a job. By the time we have children, we want to have as much time with them as possible, because they grow so quickly and I don’t want to miss a second of it.
Lesson 2: When it comes down to it, the most important thing in life is to raise your children to have good manners.
This family also taught me that manners are truly important in life, no matter if you are rich, poor, or fo’ rich like they are. If you children have no manners, you have failed. Especially if you allow your children to be lazy television addicts who order you around and refuse to do anything for themselves. My children will say please and thank you as soon as they are able to speak, and they will be self-sufficient and know how to clean up after themselves.
Lesson 2.5 (half learned) Don’t babysit for family’s who have different beliefs on child rearing. It will frustrate you.
I learned a valuable lesson, or started to, and this is it: I am at an age where I want children, am capable of having them, and have a husband-to-be to have them with. Taking care of other children frustrates me because they are not mine and have not been raised to meet my expectations. I cannot re-raise them, or instill my own values into them. They are, in the end, their parents’ children; not mine.
I put this half-learned lesson aside and agreed to babysit a family that is truly rich this week. The kids were on spring break, I thought they were decent girls, and I knew their family would pay me well.
It wasn’t worth it.
Lesson 3: Rich, spoiled children do not appreciate anything that they have, because their parents buy them anything and everything they want.
We went to Chuck E. Cheese and dropped 40.00 getting in, then I watched the kids completely burn through the tokens in about fifteen minutes (a hundred of them…) The fourth grader for whatever reason, HAD to have a 40.00 giant stuffed bear (even though they have rooms full of stuffed toys at home that they don’t touch) and then they both got lollipops. The kindergartner took one lick of hers, declared she didn’t like it, and threw it out. They then begged for more tokens and complained when we had to leave (after being there three hours) that it was not fair.
The six year old got mad at me for not buying her overpriced candy in a craft store (immediately after throwing out the lollipop) and said I was the worst babysitter ever and her mother would have bought it for her (no surprise there, folks) The next day they had a BAG of candy from WaWa (also overpriced) that mom sprang for when picking up dinner.
The six year old decided she did not want to go to art class and turned on the fake tears and irrational anger, declaring that art class is boring and stupid and she hates it. I reminded her that not all children have an art class to go to and she should be thankful. Like that meant anything to her.
Today was the absolute worst. They had a friend over, and it started raining, so the mom suggested we got to Sweet and Sassy, a childrens salon. All three girls got 15.00 manicures, and it was an extra five dollars per girl per hand to get them a design or french tip or whatever the heck they did. All in all, sixty for the manicures (for three ungrateful children, K, 2nd, and 4th grade…because they need their nails done anyway.)
Then, they have all this overpriced junk for sale, and the girls went ravenous over it. The mother said they could each pick a necklace and a pair of earrings. Then it became each girl can get three things. ANYTHING THEY WANTED. The total bill for this? Over 200.00…
We went to Cosi for lunch after and each girl got food and drink, and then did not eat any of it.
Next up, the movies. They couldn’t decide over two movies, so they decided they would see both. Before the first (Mall Cop) had even started, the girls were asking me about the second movie and more snacks (after not eating lunch) and what would they be doing after that? I could not believe that these kids weren’t the least bit grateful for getting to see a movie, or for lunch or their 200.00 shopping spree. It made me sick.
To make matters worse, the first movie ended and thankfully, the mom said no second movie. The girls pouted and said that Mall Cop was a stupid movie and they hated it, begged for money for the arcade (the friend screamed “Give me money!”) and then fought amongst each other the entire car ride home, and complained about how cheap and terrible their nails looked. I wanted to scream.
The friend that was over complained, screamed, and cried over how much she didn’t want to go to the Franklin Institute tomorrow because it is stupid and boring.
Lesson Summary:
It finally dawned on me that I don’t need a bigger house. I don’t need a better neighborhood, and I don’t need better schools. I don’t need more money. What I need is to have my children and show them that I am proud of what I have and what I have worked for in my life. I am happy where I am, and the most important things in life are family and time together. If I have that, I don’t need a bigger house with more room, because that would mean a busier job and less time with my family.
Besides, I have a house, and Glenn and I have put a lot of work into it. We have made it ours not by filling it with designer decor, but by refinishing our floors ourselves and building our own furniture.
What good would a bigger house even do for me? It would put more financial strain on us, take away from our time with our kids, and when we did have time, we would be tired and irritable.
I don’t need tons of material goods, because then my children won’t learn to appreciate treats like going to the movies or out for ice cream. These things will be expected and they will demand even more.
I want my kids to be happy with what they have and know the difference between wanting something and needing something. I hope they grow up to have manners and to appreciate what they do receive in life. If I can do that, then that is better than any amount of money.
2009 So far…
Happy March.
What has happened since I last posted? Hm.
-Glenn and I both worked like maniacs on Valentine’s Day and saw each other briefly the following day. I made him a big yellow heart with a checkerboard stripe (a la the Thruxton) with a little (geeky) poem. He printed out a picture of the two of us with the Thruxton, and a thought bubble coming from the bike saying “I miss you!” Haha.
-The 15th of February was our House-iversary.
-We finally finished the shelves in the livingroom enough that we can put stuff on them. They still need finish and trim and painting, but otherwise look way better than empty unpainted frames of shelves above the sofa.
-I have been substitute teaching and working at both DSW and Ikea. About once a week or so I get to sub for music teachers, so it has been pretty good so far. I don’t mind teaching other subjects either. Yesterday I covered a Japanese class, and it was awesome.
-On the third I got hit by a pickup truck, who was backing out of a spot and didn’t see me. My car has about 3 grand worth of damage. I’m trying to wait for his insurance to pay for it to get around my deductable, because I just don’t have $500 sitting around for that.
-Glenn and I got Guitar Hero World Tour and are having a lot of fun with that.
-I came home from teaching HS band the other day and practiced the clarinet. It was nice to play again, but I am so out of shape. I really want to play piano too. I feel like I am finally getting back into the swing of things and loving music again.
-I ordered about 40 prints of me and Glenn over the past three years. I want to start putting together an album before the wedding and give it to him. Maybe I will post some of the layouts on here.
-Today I’m going to an SAI meeting for the first time in like six months. I’m not scheduled to work until 5:30, so I’m baking some cupcakes and going to Linda’s at 12 to hang with my sisters! Yay!
Baby Blues
I don’t remember if I posted anything about this yet or not,(I looked…there was a short blurb about it but not much. I’ll recap:) but in August or so my fiance and I found out that his sister was five months pregnant. It was quite a shock, since she was otherwise single and definitely had been careful in the past. She is also 32, and all of her friends have young or newborn babies…
That being said, I went through a full and crazy range of emotions since the day that I heard the news. I was obsessed and fixated on her pregnancy. I went from feeling intrigued and completely shocked, to being jealous, scared, and downright angry. It was very difficult to sort out all of these feelings, as you can imagine.
I mentioned before that I was angry because she hurt a man who loved her and then wound up pregnant by another man very shortly after that. I was also upset at the thought that she gets to have a child before I do. I think she did it on purpose because her biological clock is ticking. Glenn and I are getting married in June and I feel like I can’t wait for children some days. It just didn’t occur to me that she would ever have children, let alone so soon. I was also really upset at the thought of her “stealing my thunder” so to speak. Apparently other women understand this, but men think it is insane. Naturally, my fiance’s response was, “You do realize that this wasn’t just to upstage you…that it actually has NOTHING to do with you???” At least the baby will be six months by our wedding. I still don’t really want her to bring her to the wedding.
The morning that we got a voicemail from Emily, almost in tears, telling us that she’d had the baby and she was perfect and beautiful…I wanted to cry. All day I wanted to cry and I couldn’t quite figure out why. Glenn called her that night and the whole time he was on the phone I just cried over my future-niece’s perfectness and how her eyes will probably stay blue, and she will be everything that I want in a baby. I feel like when I finally have a child, I can’t top it. This baby has no birth marks, she was a C section, so no cone-shaped head…she doesn’t even look like a newborn. She really is beautiful.
We went to see Emily and little Sophia on Tuesday night. I was surprisingly well composed (considering how much emotional turmoil I was going through for the past four months or so) I still can’t really believe that she has a baby. I can’t believe that someday I will too…and it will be exciting and scary and I will both want it and be terrified of the endless responsibility. I babysit almost everyday, and there are so many days where I just think “thank god I can go home and I don’t have any children waiting for me. I just have peace and quiet and my sanity!” But even still, I can’t wait to be a parent with Glenn. I hope that our baby is perfect and beautiful and even more amazing than any other when we finally have one.
He is going to be the best dad EVER.
Glenn and little Sophia (Sofia?)
Where do babies come from?
If you were me as a kid, you’d get some kind of mixed idea that babies were brought by storks, but for months prior you could feel said baby kicking inside mommy’s “tummy” and that if a boy kissed you, you would have a baby and it came out the same way you pooped (sometimes I mistook that for having a baby and had to carefully check the toilet to be sure I didn’t accidentally drown my newborn)
I have been thinking about and talking about sex education for children. What do you tell them? How early do you start? And I have seen the dangers of misinformation or lack of information firsthand (see above) as well as second hand. (I am currently babysitting for an overprotective mother, who I am quite sure does not talk to her children about sex, as she doesn’t allow them to watch Hannah Montana because of the “kissy boy scenes” being “too much” for her six-year-old to handle.) My cousin is in a college course that has her thinking about and studying the same issues, and we have been talking back and forth about it non stop since we shared our embarrassing “first time I got my period and couldn’t tell my mom because we didn’t talk about ‘that kind of stuff’” stories.
We both realized that had our mothers talked to us a little bit beforehand to prepare us, and been open enough that we felt comfortable going to them, it would have made the whole thing a lot easier and a whole lot less awkward.
Then tonight when I was babysitting I spotted a book on the counter. It caught my eye because it was laying out and it had the word “sex” in the title. My poor Catholic-raised brain still jumped at the thought of “sex” in a house with children. (afterall the two are almost never associated with one another…well except for that first time) It was a book about talking to children as young as toddlers about sex and the body. The woman who wrote it has been running body science classes for children and in it she shares ideas and stories about kids she’s worked with and stories she’s heard. It was amazing. I read almost the entire thing waiting for the parents to get home, then talked to the mom for a good twenty minutes after she’d paid me.
The one major intrigue was the section about toddlers. How do you explain all of that to a toddler? I was surprised to read that you can simply answer their questions and you most likely don’t have to elaborate. You can tell a toddler “that is your penis,” and the kid will most likely be like “okay. What’s for dinner?” What was also interesting was reading about what happens if you don’t inform kids. If a child asks, “what is this?” or “why does this do this?” and you ignore it or gloss over it, the child will make up their own answers. The chapter was called “Preschoolers, the magic thinkers” or something like that, because they will invent their own stories to explain things.
I definitely experienced this one secondhand when the other day, three-year-old sheltered as all get out Claire informed me that her dad is afraid of the bathtub. This of course struck me as odd, so I asked her why she thought that. She explained that daddy never takes baths with her or her sister, but mommy does. So logically, to her three-year-old brain, daddy must be afraid of the bathtub. That’s why he doesn’t get in it.
I would be willing to bet that if, rather than avoid the inevitable, those sheltering parents explained to Claire that boys and girls have different body parts, and sometimes are not comfortable sharing them, Claire would accept that as fact and move on. It would not mean that they would have to explain penises and adult bodies to her…all she needs to know is that boys and girls are different and sometimes require privacy. Instead, Claire is going to pick up on that later, and when she finally realizes that they are different, the exact differences will be a big secret until she learns in school or from peers. By then, she will know that Mommy and Daddy never told her about such things, so they must not be something she ever talks about with them. And if she doesn’t talk about boy parts that she doesn’t even have, she definitely won’t talk about the girl parts that she does.
That’s how both of my parents were with me and my siblings. I don’t remember exactly where or how, but I know that I knew very strongly as a child that I did not talk to either parent about anything “like that.” Since they were uncomfortable and fairly immature about the body, sex, and puberty, so was I. I remember my dad snickering when he saw me grab a training bra out of the laundry, and I remember hiding my period from my mother for two horrible months because I was so embarrassed by it.
I never want my children to feel afraid, embarrassed, or like they can’t come to me for help. If everyone goes through all of these things, there is absolutely no reason to make a child feel like they are alone and the only one. I want my children to know what is going to go on with their bodies, and know that it is normal and okay to talk about with me or their father. Thankfully, Glenn has already told me that he thinks talking to our kids is important, without any prompting from me.
I highly recommend the book I read. It is called “Speaking of Sex” and is by Meg Hickling
The Latest and Greatest
I had the scare of my life on Tuesday. Glenn ran into the bathroom and I heard a thud, followed by another thud. After the second time he didn’t answer me I cracked the door and saw him laying face down on the floor. I tried talking to him, but he had lost conciousness, and I noticed a ton of blood in the toilet. My cousin Jessica was over (we just came back from getting her bridesmaid gown) so she dialed 911 while I tried to get my poor fiance up off the floor. The EMTs came and did their thing, with me crying in the hallway like an idiot (obviously he was breathing and sort of talking and all) I rode with him to the hospital and Jess drove my car over.
The EMTs and med staff managed to tell me that the blood meant that Glenn was bleeding somewhere in his intestines, and with a family history of diverticulitis, it seemed like that would be it. They kept him all day Wednesday without doing a single test or having a doctor see him. Thursday morning when he told me he was ‘not on the list’ I bitched at the nurses station. His nurse Steve was actually really helpful. He made sure Glenn saw a doctor and was even nice enough to call me and update me throughout the day. Friday Glenn had one final test, and then was released. They couldn’t find a damn thing wrong with him (the doc said it may have healed itself, but even still…shouldn’t we know why a healthy 38 year old man suddenly lost a crap ton of blood, no pun intended?)
The crowning jewel is that….when he got home he noticed promtply that the crack in the floor joist (which I was completely oblivious to) had grown in the time he’d been hospitalized. He informed me that if the crack got any worse, the house would collapse. So, with him recovered a half day or so, we set off to purchase a jack, a 4×4 post, and some plie wood to “sister” the beam. Here is our handy work…
The crack
So our house still stands. Huzzah!
This one goes out to the wedding opportunists
If you have some photos of a wedding, a website, and the desire to make $2000.00 for four hours work, be a wedding photographer. In fact, charge them 1100 for the time and just a cd of the photos! You don’t even have to compile an album (which you would of course pick up for 20.00 and charge 1200.00 for) or even provide prints! It’s such good money!
If you know how to compile a play list and hit “play,” can announce a few names, and have at least a little charisma, you can be a wedding DJ, and make $1,000.00 for those same four hours. Just bring your ipod and some speakers!
Neither of those appeal to you? How about you get good at sewing. You could make a dress for someone to wear for one day and charge them upwards of 2,500.00
If dresses are too hard, get a piece of sheer fabric (doesn’t even have to have a finished edge) Sew on some lace or fake pearls. Attach it to a comb. You can make 500.00 for that crap! It’ll probably only take you about an hour too!
Let’s see what else… Photoshop a “unique” design for a couple. Make the colors match their wedding colors and print up some invites. Have fun charging whatever you want for that one. These suckers will pay it.
Anyone noticing a pattern here? Most of, if not ALL of this nonsense, you or friends/family of yours can do for FREE or MUCH LESS.
I have been FREAKING out about paying for my wedding, the photography, DJ, all of it. The reception is bad enough, but at least it includes food, alcohol, hors d’oevres, champaigne and the cake. I was trying to figure out how to have 1,000 for a DJ and photographer each, only to find that most photographers cost at least 1,500 or more. Most packages START at 2,000.00
Finally, Glenn explained something so simple, and so logical, that I almost fell out of my chair. To pay someone 1,100.00 to take pictures for four hours and put them on a CD is ludicrous. In the age of digital photography, we could have someone take literally thousands of pictures, they would all be digital already, and we could order any prints we want. No problem. The world makes us think we need a “professional” but most of the women and men I spoke with were operating out of their own homes. One lady had her kids screaming in the background. How are they more professional than a friend with a camera?
As for the DJ, he said, why not just compile a play list on my new ipod? (No no no. DJs have equipment. They have microphones!) We could use half the money we were planning on paying someone to buy a nice stereo system. (Okay, this is making more sense) One of my co-workers gasped and went “yeah, but then who would introduce you?” Does that mean that essentially all you pay a DJ for is an introduction and some light chit chat through the reception? $850.00 for “And now I’m pleased to introduce Mr and Mrs…” is pretty good money if you ask me!
The more I thought about it, the more I realized he was right. My initial reaction was “What will people think? They’ll expect this and that…” but that’s just it! We all have it ingrained in us that weddings require thousands of dollars…but really they shouldn’t. I know that beating on how inflated the wedding industry is is old fodder, but seriously! Things can be done so much cheaper and way more practical than people realize.
When I was in freak out mode, Glenn said to me the most important thing I think I’ve ever heard, and that was this:
“Photography…DJs…all of these details…None of them matter. What’s important is that we’re getting married.”
It’s scary and sad to think that the wedding industry as it were, almost took that idea away from me and replaced it with the need for thousand dollar DJs and limos, and all of that, that STUFF. Weddings aren’t about stuff or hired entertainment. They are about two people who love each other stating their intentions in front of friends and family. It’s certaintly a time for celebration, but not at the cost of a second mortgage.
Catch October 22
I looked at my last post and went “Hm, September?” Yeah. It’s been awhile.
I haven’t been doing too much except working as of late. I haven’t really scrapbooked or worked on my altered book much. I am incredibly interested in altered art though (thanks Leslie for the altered book book that you sent…it got me hooked)
Glenn and I refinished the living room floor. It was a tough job, and I’m not going to lie; he did most of it. I asked him why he suddenly wanted to finish the floor so badly and he replied, “Well it has to be done before getting a couch, and I know how much you want a couch.” What an awesome guy <3 We put down chemical stripper, scraped it up, sanded like woa, and then stained twice and he varnished about three times, sanding in between each. There is a spot in the center of the floor where someone refinished the floor around an area carpet (why would anyone do this?!) and we could not get rid of it. Poor Glenn. He was so upset about it…after all his hard work. It still looks really really good, and the spot is less noticeable by a long shot.
I figured it’d be awhile until a couch, but of course after all of the work that Glenn put into the room, he looked over our mismatched poor excuses for furniture and said, “Yeah, we need to get a couch. I don’t want to put this crap back into the room since it looks so nice now.” We are getting a brown leather sectional and it’s being delivered tomorrow!!! I will post pictures.
Tomorrow is…my birthday! Glenn couldn’t wait to give me my present, so he let me open it last night. He got me an iPod classic (I’ve never had any sort of mp3 player…EVER.) and it is so cool! I seriously can’t believe I didn’t have one of these things until now. He got the back of it engraved. It says “Life – Love – Music; Forever with Heather” I’m a lucky girl.
I spent all day today sewing. Glenn and I are going to a costume party for Halloween and we decided to be two of the characters from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoon series; Hank and Sheila. I’m basically finished my costume, but it still needs a cape. Then there’s almost all of Glenn’s to do…*sigh* Hopefully will have pictures of those after Halloween!
Happy October!
Oh September
This month has been nothing if not a whirlwind. It began with a pretty intense ‘fight’ between me and Glenn. Mostly it was just me crying. The very next day while still in the midst I was to go and look at wedding dresses. So I cried and sobbed “should I even bother?” and Glenn hugged me and said “You should. You’ll have fun and feel better and it will be fine.” And he was right. I found the most beautiful gown and no one could wipe the smile from my face. I turned to my mother and said “well now he HAS to marry me so he can see me in this dress!”
We celebrated our second anniversary by going to the Ren faire. We found out that day that Glenn’s sister is five months pregnant with some random child. She was the one who was engaged, broke the man’s heart, and is now knocked up by some guy she hasn’t spoken to in four months. I thought I was freaking out because I was jealous or because I was afraid Glenn would refocus on her like he used to…but no. I think I am angry because of what she did to her ex-fiance, followed by this. 
Ren faire was really good though. Glenn was super attentive to me ( i think he realized I was upset) and we went off on our own and had ‘us’ time. We also found the merchant that sold us my anniversary ring with a pearl that fell out. They are going to repair it and mail it to me!!!
Us at Faire
We’ve been doing a lot of home repair type things. The house is really shaping up. Maybe I’ll actually take and post photos of it someday soon!
We also went to a Phillies game. My brother talked all this trash about eating a hotdog an inning (because it was dollar dog night) and no one would take him on. Glenn turns around and goes “Okay Jack. I’ll take that challenge.” Final score: Glenn 5, Jack 4. Ownage!
Phillies Game
I’m looking at wedding venues this week. I have saved a thousand dollars in three weeks, so I’m pretty excited. I might actually pull this off!
