Clari’s Whims

When I first started babysitting in college I thought it was the life I’d missed out on. I went to these enormous houses, that dozens of family’s could have inhabited simultaneously, to find a family of four instead. The kids had endless amounts of video games, toys, dolls, everything. They had bedrooms, playrooms, pools, pool tables, giant TVs, on and on and on. I thought it was the life, and I participated in it for $10/hour at a time. I thought that someday, that would be what I would have or want to have.

As I have aged (which makes me sound older than I am, at the ripe age of 23) I have realized many, many important things.

Lesson 1: Live within your means and be happy where you are. Living above your means or always striving to have more will make you miserable.

The last family that I babysat during the day taught me that you shouldn’t try to live a life that isn’t your own. If you aren’t rich, don’t pretend to be. The dad had two jobs, the mom complained about working her minor four days a week, and then turned around and shopped all the super sales at designer children’s clothing stores to put on airs. Glenn and I have two jobs each right now, but it is by choice so that we have extra to fix up the house and pay for the wedding. We could just as easily drop our second jobs and get along just fine; as opposed to this family that would have lost their over-priced house if either of the quit a job. By the time we have children, we want to have as much time with them as possible, because they grow so quickly and I don’t want to miss a second of it.

Lesson 2: When it comes down to it, the most important thing in life is to raise your children to have good manners.

This family also taught me that manners are truly important in life, no matter if you are rich, poor, or fo’ rich like they are. If you children have no manners, you have failed. Especially if you allow your children to be lazy television addicts who order you around and refuse to do anything for themselves. My children will say please and thank you as soon as they are able to speak, and they will be self-sufficient and know how to clean up after themselves.

Lesson 2.5 (half learned) Don’t babysit for family’s who have different beliefs on child rearing. It will frustrate you.

I learned a valuable lesson, or started to, and this is it: I am at an age where I want children, am capable of having them, and have a husband-to-be to have them with. Taking care of other children frustrates me because they are not mine and have not been raised to meet my expectations. I cannot re-raise them, or instill my own values into them. They are, in the end, their parents’ children; not mine.

I put this half-learned lesson aside and agreed to babysit a family that is truly rich this week. The kids were on spring break, I thought they were decent girls, and I knew their family would pay me well.

It wasn’t worth it.

Lesson 3: Rich, spoiled children do not appreciate anything that they have, because their parents buy them anything and everything they want.

We went to Chuck E. Cheese and dropped 40.00 getting in, then I watched the kids completely burn through the tokens in about fifteen minutes (a hundred of them…) The fourth grader for whatever reason, HAD to have a 40.00 giant stuffed bear (even though they have rooms full of stuffed toys at home that they don’t touch) and then they both got lollipops. The kindergartner took one lick of hers, declared she didn’t like it, and threw it out. They then begged for more tokens and complained when we had to leave (after being there three hours) that it was not fair.

The six year old got mad at me for not buying her overpriced candy in a craft store (immediately after throwing out the lollipop) and said I was the worst babysitter ever and her mother would have bought it for her (no surprise there, folks) The next day they had a BAG of candy from WaWa (also overpriced) that mom sprang for when picking up dinner.

The six year old decided she did not want to go to art class and turned on the fake tears and irrational anger, declaring that art class is boring and stupid and she hates it. I reminded her that not all children have an art class to go to and she should be thankful. Like that meant anything to her.

Today was the absolute worst. They had a friend over, and it started raining, so the mom suggested we got to Sweet and Sassy, a childrens salon. All three girls got 15.00 manicures, and it was an extra five dollars per girl per hand to get them a design or french tip or whatever the heck they did. All in all, sixty for the manicures (for three ungrateful children, K, 2nd, and 4th grade…because they need their nails done anyway.)

Then, they have all this overpriced junk for sale, and the girls went ravenous over it. The mother said they could each pick a necklace and a pair of earrings. Then it became each girl can get three things. ANYTHING THEY WANTED. The total bill for this? Over 200.00…

We went to Cosi for lunch after and each girl got food and drink, and then did not eat any of it.

Next up, the movies. They couldn’t decide over two movies, so they decided they would see both. Before the first (Mall Cop) had even started, the girls were asking me about the second movie and more snacks (after not eating lunch) and what would they be doing after that? I could not believe that these kids weren’t the least bit grateful for getting to see a movie, or for lunch or their 200.00 shopping spree. It made me sick.

To make matters worse, the first movie ended and thankfully, the mom said no second movie. The girls pouted and said that Mall Cop was a stupid movie and they hated it, begged for money for the arcade (the friend screamed “Give me money!”) and then fought amongst each other the entire car ride home, and complained about how cheap and terrible their nails looked. I wanted to scream.

The friend that was over complained, screamed, and cried over how much she didn’t want to go to the Franklin Institute tomorrow because it is stupid and boring.

Lesson Summary:
It finally dawned on me that I don’t need a bigger house. I don’t need a better neighborhood, and I don’t need better schools. I don’t need more money. What I need is to have my children and show them that I am proud of what I have and what I have worked for in my life. I am happy where I am, and the most important things in life are family and time together. If I have that, I don’t need a bigger house with more room, because that would mean a busier job and less time with my family.

Besides, I have a house, and Glenn and I have put a lot of work into it. We have made it ours not by filling it with designer decor, but by refinishing our floors ourselves and building our own furniture.

What good would a bigger house even do for me? It would put more financial strain on us, take away from our time with our kids, and when we did have time, we would be tired and irritable.

I don’t need tons of material goods, because then my children won’t learn to appreciate treats like going to the movies or out for ice cream. These things will be expected and they will demand even more.

I want my kids to be happy with what they have and know the difference between wanting something and needing something. I hope they grow up to have manners and to appreciate what they do receive in life. If I can do that, then that is better than any amount of money.

Happy March.

What has happened since I last posted? Hm.

-Glenn and I both worked like maniacs on Valentine’s Day and saw each other briefly the following day. I made him a big yellow heart with a checkerboard stripe (a la the Thruxton) with a little (geeky) poem. He printed out a picture of the two of us with the Thruxton, and a thought bubble coming from the bike saying “I miss you!” Haha.

-The 15th of February was our House-iversary.

-We finally finished the shelves in the livingroom enough that we can put stuff on them. They still need finish and trim and painting, but otherwise look way better than empty unpainted frames of shelves above the sofa.

-I have been substitute teaching and working at both DSW and Ikea. About once a week or so I get to sub for music teachers, so it has been pretty good so far. I don’t mind teaching other subjects either. Yesterday I covered a Japanese class, and it was awesome.

-On the third I got hit by a pickup truck, who was backing out of a spot and didn’t see me. My car has about 3 grand worth of damage. I’m trying to wait for his insurance to pay for it to get around my deductable, because I just don’t have $500 sitting around for that.

-Glenn and I got Guitar Hero World Tour and are having a lot of fun with that.

-I came home from teaching HS band the other day and practiced the clarinet. It was nice to play again, but I am so out of shape. I really want to play piano too. I feel like I am finally getting back into the swing of things and loving music again.

-I ordered about 40 prints of me and Glenn over the past three years. I want to start putting together an album before the wedding and give it to him. Maybe I will post some of the layouts on here.

-Today I’m going to an SAI meeting for the first time in like six months. I’m not scheduled to work until 5:30, so I’m baking some cupcakes and going to Linda’s at 12 to hang with my sisters! Yay!